Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Is There A Saint To Help Find Lost Stuff?

If there is, I need their help.  

Here's my prayer:

Dear Saint Whomever-it-is-that-talks-to-Jesus-about-helping-people-find-lost-stuff,

I lost $100 bill sometime in the last 5 days and cannot for the life of me figure out where I left it and/or spent it.  You see, Saint Whomever, I’m not really used to carrying cash around and I think I put it down somewhere, but I can’t remember where.  I've already talked to Jesus directly about this, but since you’re the head of the Finding Lost Stuff Committee, maybe you can put in a good word for me.  I figure having more than one person asking for me could help.  If you could, mention it to Jesus; and remind him that I've already asked for his help in remembering where I put it.  I’m pretty sure Chantel’s already asked him, too; and so has my mom.  It’s not that I’m obsessed with money or that I can’t live without the $100, it’s just that I had it and it was accounted for and now it’s lost.  I’m assuming that I just misplaced it, so if you can get Jesus to make it reappear or something, that would be great.  If it is actually lost, I pray that whoever finds it makes good use of it and doesn't waste it on beer, drugs, or cigarettes.  I also hope they don’t waste it on Maxwell House coffee; that stuff is gross. 

Anyway, in the Bible there are lots of verses about interceding on each other’s behalf, so that’s really what I’m doing.  I’m just asking that you and whoever else feels so inclined, to talk to Jesus for me and hopefully this mystery will be solved; and even if it isn't, let Jesus know that we’re still cool and I know that he’ll teach me some lesson from all of this. 

It’ll probably be something about being responsible or not procrastinating.  I know this because I've already been reminded many times about how irresponsible I am and how much I procrastinate.


Oh, one other thing, if there’s a Saint for eating donuts without risking diabetes; let ‘em know I need their help, too.

Amen again.

On a serious note:
  1. I do pray that we can find the money.
  2. I also believe wholeheartedly in intercessory prayer.
  3. Lately, Maxwell House coffee tastes like dirt.  Don’t try it.

No comments:

Post a Comment