The Other 5 Commandments

A few days ago, I saw a video posted online from the movie “History of the World Part I”.  The clip was of the scene when Moses (Mel Brooks) was carrying what was supposed to be the 15 Commandments down to the people.  In the process of walking down the mountain to deliver the commandments, he dropped the tablet with commandments 11-15.

The clip got me thinking about what those other 5 commandments could possibly be.  So with doing no research whatsoever, but having keen observational skills, here are the other 5 commandments:

1. You must have your life in order and have it all figured out before you can start coming to church.
2. When asked how you’re doing, you must always answer “fine” and leave it at that.
3. The only time it’s ok to not love your neighbor is in the church parking lot right after service ends.
4. Do not join a small group.  Your relationship with God will be much better if you develop it by yourself.
5. When something bad happens to you, blame God.  Don't bother praying that He would give you the strength to overcome whatever it is you are going through.  

After reading through these a few times and being involved in church for a while, it's hard not to believe that these might actually be true because so many of us follow these commandments letter for letter.  

I like imagine bible scholars and archaeologists doing some investigation and finding a lost writing that would have these 5 commandments.  It would probably be the book of Psarcasms, letters Moses wrote to the Christians in Rivendell.  The book would probably also include rules on how much potato salad to pile onto your plate at pot-lucks and instruct us on how to properly save seats for Christmas Eve church service.

Lucky for us, this book hasn't been found, so we should probably start doing the opposite of what this list says.  

It's so easy for us to get caught up in the lies that we tell ourselves about church and our relationship with God, but He's bigger than that.  He wants us to come to Him, warts and all.  He wants us to have community with Him and with others around us so that we can help build each other up.  Bad things happen, that's just part of life; but He can carry us through it.

What are some other commandments that we seem to be living by when we should actually be doing the opposite?